Live fast, love hard, and don't let anyone else use your comb

An update on my efforts on the guy front. MNB continues to be his on again off again self and this weekend he excitedly told me that one of his local internet girlfriends recently broke up with her boyfriend and so now she's free to talk dirty to him, do webcam acrobatics, or whatever it is they do. I'm sure his master plan is to try to orchestrate a three way. My "what in the hell are you doing?" alarms were deafening. So, in response, I think I went a little overboard. I set up dates with 3 different guys for the 3 nights I'll be in town this week. Again, my "what in the hell are you doing?" alarms are sounding. Did I think I was the Fonz? Oh well, so many men, so little time.

front row seats to the end of the world

I just got back from DC. I was making hill visits during this inopportune time of complete economic chaos. In every office the phones were ringing nonstop with concerned citizens on the line passing along their opinions to their congressional delegates. As always, the staffers were dutifully tallying the opinions of their constituents so that their bosses would know what their voters think. However, as much as I believe in democracy, I hope that the senators and representatives really don't intend to rely on the opinions of the uninformed masses to decide how to vote. How many of these callers are economic experts? I'm willing to bet, not many. When it comes to decisions as monumental as this one, I hope that these guys have the good sense to rely on the expertise of people who actually understand the nuances and intricacies of our modern economy. Hold on your wallets, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

mixing drugs

It's Saturday after yet anoather exhausting week. I've been on the road all week with what I've been calling the circus, but was really a series of workshops for clients. So, I've had to paste a smile on my face most of the week and try not to get overly fed up the togetherness required when you're roaming the country with 10-20 colleagues. Not only was I dragging ass, but I've been trying to fend off the nagging depression that I can sense in the back of my psyche. Today, a bitchy call from my ex broke the levee, so to speak, & all of the sudden I was Hamlet's soul mate.


So, I gave up trying to do housework & sat down at the computer. Then, Everything is Wrong with Me introduced me to mixwit.com. Turns out posting playlists is the wonder drug. Although I've only got two mixes posted, it's easy to see the progression of my mood. The first one, aptly titled "melancholy," is self indulgent and a little depressing -- but still awesome. Making the second one, completely brought an end to my pity party. Now I'm smiling at the lizards and birds in my back yard, drinking a beer, dancing around the house, and complimenting myself on my impeccable, yet quirky taste in music. (I don't have the time to wait for someone else to give me accolades.)

looking for mr. goodbar

One of the things that's been on my to do list for a month or two is to add to my bullpen. Although I'm irrationally attached to MNB, his irrational unattachment often leaves me feeling less than blissful. So, in honor of his commitment to remaining uncommitted, I made the conscious decision to expand my options. Toward this end, I've been meeting some interesting guys. So far, my options are as follows: Bachelor number one - a self-employed internet entrepreneur with whom I have similar interests, but might be a little intense; Bachelor number two - a salesman who seems to like me, but might be a little too quick to become attached; Bachelor number three - a guy who I don't know as well, but hasn't tripped my creep radar yet. The other person I've met was my would be stalker. I'll call him SF.

SF lives in MNB's apartment complex and since MNB doesn't have a cell phone (did I mention his fear of commitment?), I gave SF my number so we could meet up with him one Saturday night. SF hung out with us as the proverbial third wheel that Saturday night. Totally innocent beginning, but from that night on, I started getting pretty constant calls and texts from him that became increasingly forward and creepy. When I'd stay with MNB, as soon as we'd turn out the lights, I'd get a good night (gnite) text, like he was watching the apartment. When I gave the excuse that I wasn't going to hang out with him because he is MNB's neighbor, he shot back that he didn't get the impression from MNB that there was a commitment. Can't argue with that. It became apparent that he was not one to take a hint, so my efforts to discourage him became more and more direct and now it appears I've finally shaken him off. However, before he agreed to leave me alone, he felt the need to advise me that I should "act boldly in matters of the heart." Although I'm generally uncertain about how boldly I should act, I'm not sure I want to take advice from a guy who overtly hits on his neighbor's sort-of-girlfriend.

Well, Jane, it just goes to show you...

The last two weeks have been one drama after another. I think most of my staff at work have confided some sort of earth shattering secret to me over the last several days. I know everyone's got something, but right now everyone seems to have something BIG. I was starting to feel like my insane ex, my financial disasters, and my new stalker (likely topic for a later blog) were a walk in the park compared to the things other people were dealing with. Then, last Thursday my doctor called. At 9:00 at night. He apparently didn't consider McCain's speech at the RNC must-see TV. I knew it couldn't be good news if my doctor was calling me at 9:00 at night. Some of what he said is definite, some is only potential. I'll know more after I go back in for another (painful?) test. I spent Friday in a daze, pretending to earn my salary. I spent this weekend being a completely self-indulgent infant, crying and drinking to excess. Finally, I think I've successfully added my health issues to the list of things I relegate to the back of my mind as I carry on with my life. To quote Rosanne Roseannadanna, it's always something.

It's all about me(me)

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole meme concept. I like the viral aspect, but in addition to having a weird name, they remind me of chain mail. There's not much I hate more than the irrational fear that because I didn't forward an e-mail to 20 friends I care about -- hell, I don't have 20 friends I care about! -- I'm susceptible to a potentially fatal streak of bad luck. That said, I'm a sucker for the meme's about music. The best 4 hours I remember having at work were spent completing an e-mail quiz that asked the reader to identify 20 songs from the 80's based on a couple lines of lyrics. So, it is in that spirit that I'm stealing another music-themed meme. This one I got from Sarah in the Suburbs. I totally don't expect you to read my answers. This is an exercise in narcissism.

If someone new were in your car, what song on your player would you be quickest to skip out of embarrassment? Any song by Weird Al (yeah, I've got more than one).

What song or songs is/are most “atypical” on your player? What Goes Around/Comes Around by (the unexplainably irresistable) Justin Timberlake.

What song(s) on your player turns you on? Closer by NIN

If you wanted to get a member of the opposite sex in the mood, what song would you program to come on when they are in the car? Depends on the guy. Most likely: See Previous.

What is the longest song on your player? That's a little tricky. I tried to sort by time, but I think the results are skewed by the strange affinity bands have for hidden tracks (I hate 'em). However, when I sort, Something In The Way by Nirvana comes in at just over 20 minutes.

What do you think is the silliest song on your player? Fresh Dog by MC Frontalot

What did you most recently add to your player? Just Like a Woman by Jeff Buckley

What did you most recently delete? I've got so much memory, I never delete.

What is your favorite song on your player that is from a movie? You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man by Loretta Lynn (Coal Miner's Daughter)

Is there a song on your player that is only there for someone else’s benefit? Tons. I have a whole playlist for my 3 year old. Her favorite is Put a Banana in Your Ear by Jason Steele (of the inexplicable youtube hit, Charlie the Unicorn)

What song or artist do you find yourself skipping most frequently and therefore should probably delete? Carrie Underwood - hands down.

What song would you least like to be playing when pulled over by law enforcement? It's Going to Be a Long Night, Ween (you gotta listen to the song) or maybe Gin and Juice by Snoop Dogg

What song most makes you want to smash stuff (in a good or a bad way)? You Oughtta Know, Alanis Morissette

What song makes you want to throw a drunken arm around a friend’s shoulders and sing? I Want You to Want Me, Cheap Trick or Hotel California, the Eagles

What song would you be most mortified to be caught singing aloud? One Bad Apple by the Osmonds

girl gone wild

It's Tuesday after a very long Labor Day weekend and I'm in a completely crappy mood. This weekend was weird and disturbing. Part of me blames changes in the barometric pressure caused by hurricane Gustav, but the more rational part of me blames alcohol. Just to give you an idea of how strange the weekend was, not one day went by that MNB and I weren't propositioned to participate in menage a trois -- once by a self-proclaimed Nazi. (We declined.)

As I try to merge back into my workweek, this weekend seems to have had a "Tears of a Clown" sort of quality. I feel like my fellow Labor Day revelers and I worked too hard at having fun in an effort to distract ourselves from the fact that we're not really happy. And now, with my nose back to the grindstone, the pathetic attempt at hedonism has left me with a mild case of depression. I know, I'm being dramatic. It's the kind of day that makes me feel real hatred for every happy person I see. So, to protect the more contented members of the community, I'm on self-imposed house arrest throwing things at the TV every time an e-Harmony commercial comes on.